Just the Way You Are: Dreaming of a Society Where Everyone Can Live as Themselves

Robin* (they/them), recently embarked on an exciting new journey when they left their home country in Europe and moved to Daejeon in the Republic of Korea.  

Robin had long dreamed of pursuing a career in science, and, now in Daejeon, they had the chance to contribute to scientific progress and development. So it was like that when they first arrived in Korea with a heart filled with hope, envisioning a fresh chapter in the city that is well known as the country’s research and development hub. 

However, as a non-binary person, Robin’s journey hadn’t always been rosy. People would simply judge Robin by their appearance, and such prejudice further fuelled obstacles that blocked their professional path.  

From their hairstyle to what they wore, everything that people could see was turned into shallow evidence that presumed their gender. Additionally, upon entering a space that is usually gendered, like a traditional sauna, Robin often felt compelled to explain who they were, before being admitted onto the premises, since those places were not prepared for non-binary individuals.  

"Navigating through a world that orbits around the conventional two genders as a non-binary person has been challenging." Robin has also been aware that people would laugh and discuss their gender identity and appearance behind their back. "Luckily, my supervisor and colleagues are comparably open-minded people, so I have never encountered issues regarding my gender at work so far. Still, some people define me based on my appearance instead of my true self." 

While going through this discrimination in their new home, Robin soon realised that this might be a chance for them to share diverse perspectives about gender. They believe the key to helping people go beyond what they can see is showing the hidden truth of society: every person is different, but we live together as members of the same society.

Robin reckons that they could serve as a bridge between people around them and promote a world of diversity and inclusivity, so that everyone can live just the way they are, no matter what their gender identity or their sexual orientation is. "As a queer person, I might make contact with people who have not seen much diversity yet." 

In their day-to-day life, Robin began to make some changes. In conversations with people around them, they started to casually bring up queer topics. “Hatred often arises from ignorance. I found that many people did not know the difference between gay people and trans people, for example.” Such realisation led them to proactively explain the differences between various concepts of genders and regularly answer their colleagues’ questions.  

"One of my friends, who used to be reluctant to see LGBTIQ+ people in the media, is now significantly more understanding."  

Although Robin still faces various challenges in life as a non-binary individual, witnessing the moment of change is what keeps them moving forward. "I know prejudice and homophobia will not vanish all at once. Yet, seeing things change little by little is a great accomplishment for me, and it motivates me to continue my efforts to let more people understand the queer community." 

As their friends have changed their impression on the individuals of diverse gender identities and sexual orientations, Robin believes the media also plays a vital role in reshaping the society by sensibly and fairly covering the lives of queer people.  

"It can be a signal for the others in society that they are not alone, and that they will be fine being the way they are. At the same time, it will help people become more familiar with queer people and look out on ways to form a society where everyone can be themselves."

The message Robin wants to deliver is clear — We all have the same right to exist. "Let people be and dress the way they want. A woman can have short hair. A man can have long hair. Women can be in love with women, and men can be in love with men. Sometimes, people are neither women nor men; these people should not have to hide.” 

Like Robin, a lot of people are working for the recognition of persons with diverse sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression and sex characteristics (SOGIESC) living in the Republic of Korea, from raising awareness to enacting legislation.  

As an organization that values and embraces diversity, IOM has been supporting people with diverse SOGIESC with its recent events across the world, including marking the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. IOM will continue to support LGBTIQ+ migrants in society and stand for their rights, which should be guaranteed all around the world. 

* not the real name to protect their identity 

The Rainbow Migrants Initiative was launched in 2020 to highlight the diverse experiences of LGBTIQ+ migrants throughout Asia and the Pacific. The story is based on the interview, and the content has been edited for length and clarity.

By Hayoung PARK, Communication Assistant, IOM Republic of Korea: phayoung@iom.int