Stories
By:
  • Siti Munawirah Mustaffa | Communications Assistant, IOM Malaysia

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia – “I feel like there is a lot of negative judgment thrown by society against single mothers,” shares Zaitun*, a 33-year-old divorcee from northern Pakistan who finally left an abusive marriage over three years ago. Her decision was not an easy one. 

In 2020, Zaitun’s eldest child made a startling revelation: her biological father, who was also Zaitun’s husband at that time – a well-respected religious preacher within the Pakistani Ahmadiyya Muslim community and the family breadwinner – had been sexually abusing her since she was as little as 7. Distraught by the news, Zaitun did what a good parent should – she believed her.  

Pressured into an arranged marriage in a small town near Lahore too early without completing higher education, Zaitun had since been dependent on her (now) ex-husband for over a decade, following him to Malaysia to flee the persecution of Ahmadis. However, the lack of other security net did not hinder her from resolutely pushing through to file for divorce and a police report, and to seek safety for her three children and herself. Luckily for her, she was offered the role as a schoolteacher at a learning centre where her children are now attending. The family continues to live in hiding till date. 

Meanwhile, 31-year-old Rubia*, a Rohingya refugee who fled the ongoing conflict and violence in her hometown Arakan, Myanmar, to Malaysia in 2012 together with her husband at that time has her own struggles.

Having had enough of his cheating and abusive behaviours, she sought divorce in 2021, taking the sole custody of her two sons who are still in primary school. Nevertheless, her reoccurring health challenges limit her job prospects, for she is now making RM 20 (USD 4.23) per day by washing dishes at a restaurant on a part-time basis. Her meagre salary barely allows her to make ends meet, as the family still struggles to cover medical needs, food, and her sons’ schooling

“We never received any financial support from my ex-husband after having cut off all forms of communications with him. I made it clear that my door is closed,” weeps Rubia.

Still, not every single mother is able to earn an income. Hayma*, a 41-year-old widow from Myitkina, Myanmar, has been unemployed for almost half a year due to her medical conditions. At the moment, Hayma and her 8-year-old son – the youngest of her two children – are supported by her 18-year-old daughter who works as a hairdresser. Despite their determination in providing for their families on their own, limited work opportunities added by the lack of support from their network have been a constant setback.

According to the Malaysia’s Department of Statistics (DOSM), single mothers, including divorcees and widows, made up 2.8 per cent of the Malaysian population in 2020. The actual number of single mothers within the migrant and refugee population remain unknown. Despite the relief of moving on from failed marriages, single mothers commonly experience distress due to scarcity of welfare, as well as ubiquitous social stigma.

To help address such obstacles, the International Organization for Migration (IOM) in Malaysia launched a Cash-Based Intervention (CBI) programme. Funded by the European Civil Protection and Humanitarian Aid Operations (ECHO), the initiative provides specific assistance to highly vulnerable refugees and migrants, including single mothers.

In 2023, approximately RM474,042 (EUR92,000) in cash were disbursed to 1,167 migrants and refugees from 304 households, where single mothers accounted for 7 per cent of them.

The CBI support provided by IOM allows single mothers of migration backgrounds like Zaitun, Rubia and Hayma to afford necessities and evade threats of eviction from landlords.  

Hayma dreams of making and selling traditional Myanmar cuisine as a way to showcase her culture to the world. @ IOM/Siti Munawirah

To date, IOM continues to monitor the impacts of the programme through surveys and adjust the assistance scheme as needed. In the meantime, single mothers and women-headed households remain among the top priorities as part of IOM’s mission in gender mainstreaming.

Given the circumstances, the sole focus of the women interviewed is to ensure that their children’s needs – from food to education – are met. Living on a survival mode, however, does not discount their own personal aspirations.   

If it was not for the financial and health limitations, Rubia would like to learn English to communicate better and earn more income. @ IOM/Siti Munawirah

Were it not for the financial and health limitations, Rubia would like to learn English to communicate better and earn more income. Likewise, Hayma dreams of making and selling traditional Myanmar cuisine as a way to showcase her culture to the world if she was given the opportunity to do so. While enjoying being a schoolteacher, Zaitun wishes to pursue a course in journalism, noting her love for storytelling. Their situations, regardless of how difficult, are not an end to their resilience

“Regardless of what happened, we can always come out stronger,” says Zaitun.

“I believe women and girls can do what men and boys do. Although I make less money with no support from the father of my children and the community, we are able to live under our own roof. Never think that women are weak.”  

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the individuals.  

This story was written by Siti Munawirah Mustaffa, IOM Malaysia Communications Assistant, smustaffa@iom.int  

SDG 1 - No Poverty
SDG 3 - Good Health and Well Being
SDG 5 - Gender Equality
SDG 10 - Reduced Inequalities